What the actual F#=k……… That is all I can say. I returned home from my vacay to the States, to absolute fear and uncertainty. And that is just from me. Corona Virus has well and truly arrived in Ireland. It is something out of a war film. The more I watch the news bulletins, the twitter accounts, trying to glean as much information as I can from all the social sites as possible, I realise this is not good…. and especially not for me. This is one of my fears… to be Typhoid Mary. I mean, this is something that we cant face and it spreads so easy that I want to hide myself in a room until this is all over. Not that I am afraid, no, I am paranoid about spreading the disease. I don’t even know if I have it, but I am still paranoid. I am not worried about my own health, even though I probably should be. But no, I am worried about everyone else. And once my brain starts doing the numbers, and how it can travel and spread so quick I am just like Oh my God….. So what to do, every cough, sneeze, sore throat I have I am convinced I have it. I self isolate for two weeks, and even then I think I may still have it. I am being ridiculous of course, and paranoid but my anxiety in relation to spreading it is at an all time high. I envy those who are able to work from home, yes I know it is not ideal all the time, but at least they have more control on who they are speaking to and who they are coming into contact with.
This pandemic has the potential to change life as we know it, already when I am walking I stand more that 2 feet away from people and almost make an example of moving further away. I have often turned my back on people if I think they are too close. Is this the new normal between humans. Culturally will this be the end of say. the Spanish or Italian kissing on the cheek greetings. Are these cultural greetings never to be practiced again? The longer this goes on, will this be what is left? Will we ever return to our tactile selves. Will the virus ever go? Will a second wave finally catch all those that a)didn’t get it originally or b)kill off those who survived it. I go from feeling, Yes we can do this, to I am a disaster. I feel like I haven’t helped serve my country and do my bit in this situation or even helped out on a local level. I am lucky to still have my job, so I donate to charities each week. This is as much for them, as it is for me to feel better about my approach to all this. I am trying to keep calm, but with the uncertainty of when this will all end and how long into the future before we return to some level of normality is crippling. All I want at this stage is to be able to go to a Coffee shop, order a coffee and cake and sit and watch all the people go by. Even just to have that again.
My words today are: We are doing all we can, and so are you. Keep the faith and this too shall pass. x
Some Musings of a Crazy Elephant 